This may sound a little dark, but I’ve been sitting in a lot of cemeteries lately.
I’m fascinated by how people have chosen to commemorate themselves (and, often, how others have chosen to commemorate them). There are headstones that reach fifteen feet into the air, with marble columns and a clay bust of the deceased. There are mausoleums and gardens. And, there are old, broken headstones on which you can barely read the name and date.
The cemetery almost feels busy, like you’re standing in the middle of a big crowd of people. It also feels like you’re intruding, in a way, to very private moments of someone’s life and legacy.
In graveyards, I am continually reminded that no matter how huge or opulent the headstone, all of these people are gone. They’re dead. These people could have had all the money in the world, with their massive graves and bundles of fresh flowers, but – at the end of the day – they’re in the ground.
So, let my sitting on a bench in a cemetery in Vienna remind you that we only have one short life to live. And, every day is important to that short life.
I bet each and every one of the people behind these gravestones – and their families – wish they had another 24 hours to just be with each other.
So, be present with the people you’re around, and love everyone fully. Don’t waste time living to your happiest, fullest potential, because I imagine all the headstones in the cemetery would rush to tell you the same thing.
It’s fun to roam around and explore a new city, but it also can be the source of some anxiety. If you’re in an unfamiliar place and don’t know where things are (or, how to get there), it can be incredibly stressful to navigate. I’m speaking from personal experience, of course. It’s also difficult if you don’t speak the language; there’s a third obstacle to add to the list. So, when you get that wave of fear or a moment of loneliness, here are a few small things that I’ve noticed help keep me grounded.
Smiling at a stranger and having them smile back at you This tends to work best with middle-aged moms. Young people don’t have time for you and older people tend to frown back because, I think, they’re not used to having young people smile at them.
Finding food that reminds you of your childhood For me, this is a falafel joint or any kind of Mediterranean spot that serves hummus and/or baklava. Sometimes a little taste of something that spurs nostalgia can warm your heart if you’re feeling isolated.
Honestly, it’s just really comforting to stop and take a minute to appreciate what’s around you. Smelling flowers grounds me because A) it’s comforting to realize that these little guys can bloom in the place they’re at, so you can too and B) it brings self-awareness. I recognize the senses I’m using to smell the flowers and my focus is brought to the nature around me.
Finding a view that makes you forget how hard it was to get up there in the first place I know Miley was all about the climb, but sometimes that climb is tough and sweaty (physically and emotionally). It’s encouraging to get to the top of a hill or mountain and look out over the city or place you’re in. Then, you’re seeing how beautiful the view is, or how small everything looks, or how far the river runs – instead of focusing on fear.
Touching the bark of a really old tree
Similar to smelling flowers, this connection to nature is surprisingly relaxing. I like to stare up into old trees and run my hands along the rough bark, trying to think about how old the tree is or what it has seen. They’ve been standing peacefully for a long time with the earth under their feet.
Seeing a dog playing in the park
This may be more geared towards pet lovers, but nothing brings joy to my heart like seeing a pup loving their life. It makes me so happy to see them playing, or jumping, or licking their owners, or wagging their tails. We get to be responsible for some of these beautiful creatures. And, it also reminds me of my own sweet dog who loves unconditionally.
Stepping on a crunchy fall leaf
Nothing grounds me more than a physical reminder that all of life comes in seasons, both literally, with our four seasons, and metaphorically, with chapters in our own stories. Sometimes the moment it takes to bring your anxiety down is to feel and hear that sensation of autumn, reminding us that this, too, is just another season. And, you can manage it.
Watching people from a park bench I am a big fan of pausing and sitting, especially in some of the incredible green spaces that you’ll find in bigger cities. Watching people can be fun, but it is also grounding to remember that we as humans all want the same things, and our goals are similar. We want love, dignity, respect, and protection for ourselves and our families. It doesn’t matter who you are or what language you speak – these core values connect us to people wherever we are. It’s also encouraging to think about the goodness in these people; it has been proven to me time and time again while I’ve been traveling that people are willing to help. People are inherently good.
Doing something in your normal routine
Traveling is a whirlwind of new things, so sometimes the thing that helps out an anxious soul is to do something that you know. Go for a run, read your favorite book, have a cup of tea, or lay in the grass. You are not losing yourself in this moment of being lost or fearful; you have the capacity to do whatever you’d like to do.
Do you have something that you’d like to add to this list? I’d love to expand it to help fellow travelers. Tweet me @abbiwilt with your suggestions!